Diary of a man from Badalona, worried for the suffering of Barcelona city people.


Dear diary,  

Today, thinking about the people from Barcelona city, I got something in my mind: is it painful to suffer from DDS -Distance Distortion Syndrome-. 

When you ask them to meet, doing an exercise of reciprocity, in Badalona to have a coffee, a tea, a refreshment or, now that the season's coming, an orxata, or even, to go to the cinema or to have dinner, it doesn't matter the language or the origins of this person, the answer is always the same: "Ostras, está un poco lejos! - Ostres, és una mica lluny! - Oysters (yikes!), it's a little bit far!"... and you think, far? Far is Timbuktu, Siberia or Patagonia, Badalona is four metro stops from Barcelona.  

At such shows of lack of academy formation, you try to do pedagogy rather condescendingly since they did probably skip that mathematics problem “if a train leaves from the A point and another one leaves from the B point”, and you show them that, curiously, and even if it sounds impossible, the distance between a particular point of Barcelona and another particular point of Badalona is the same one, without changing a single micron, between the same point in Badalona and the first point in Barcelona.  

Subsequently, and seeing the scared face of the person concerned, who needs a moment to think and doubt the truth of what you said, you try to calm them making them see that you understand them, living in a big city for a long time (or not that much, sometimes people who travels for a couple of weeks to places like Paris or London where, in terms of distance, Badalona would be part of the center of Barcelona, they already suffer from DDS), going out from there can cause vertigo and a slight sensation that you could cross a space-time vortex that leads to another dimension, you tell them "no", you travel twice every day between these cities and nothing bad has happened to you.  

Finally, seeing they show obvious symptoms of DDS and they're about to throw up, you agree to meet in Gràcia. You arrive on time, from Badalona, and they show up ten minutes late because they miscalculated the time (another symptom of DDS, to calculate fifteen minutes from home to the meeting point, it doesn't matter if you go walking or driving). At last, you make them realize something: coming from where they came, they would have arrived to the center of Badalona, where you wanted to meet first, five minutes before the meeting time since their house is halfway between Badalona and the marvelous neighborhood of Gràcia.  

Luckily, we will have the next orxata in Badalona.